Relig.ish: Finding Tribe

Where do you find a sense of community and tribe in a post-church life? Do SBNR folks need a spiritual community? If you are relig-ish, what are your needs for community and where/how do those needs get met? I touch on on all these questions in under six minutes in this week’s episode of Relig-ish at Sogo Media. (But I need input from y.o.u. to flesh the topic out!)

Having trouble viewing the video? Watch it directly at Sogo here.

Interested in joining my online tribe, Flock? Click here for more information.

kat January 10, 2013 at 1:42 pm

I have found a tribe in SouLodge, run by Pixie Campbell of Pink Coyote (her blog on Typepad). It offers spiritual work based upon Native American traditions with journey work and meditations, and working with spirit helpers which are from the earth’s tribe of creations. By that I mean all walks of nature – plants, birds, rocks, trees, animals, insects, the elements, and occasionally a dragon or fairy shows up :-)
I love how Relig-ish fits right in with this practice, and I find it quite complimentary. (I’ve also said for some years now that I was spiritual, but not religious.)
(Now if I can only figure out how to add a badge to my newly created blog :-( frustration.)

Rachelle January 12, 2013 at 3:21 pm

Oh yes, I really like Pixie’s work. It’s so connected to the turn of the seasons.

I’ll tell you a secret…I can’t put badges on my own blog. The Hubs does it for me. But here’s an article that might help:

kat January 13, 2013 at 8:44 pm

Thanks for the tip! I use Blogger right now, but maybe it’ll work with that too – I’ll sure try ~

Patti January 10, 2013 at 5:48 pm

I have been searching for a church home for the past 6 years. My beliefs don’t mesh with the usual places. I went to Quaker meetings for a while but I wanted more discussion and ceremony. I hoped that UUs would be a good fit but some of my values disagree with theirs. I would like to meet with people and have conversations about what makes sense to each of us and build community. I am feeling adrift. Because of what has happened I don’t even feel like reaching out right now.

Rachelle January 12, 2013 at 3:24 pm

That sounds difficult Patti. It can be hard to reach out when you’ve felt excluded because of differing beliefs.

If you take beliefs out of the equations, where else have you found a sense of communal support? space for discussion? fulfilling ceremony? It might be that there are places to get those needs met that are not church-y….?

nikkiana January 12, 2013 at 1:49 pm

I’m in a situation where I’m being adopted into an existing tribe of people… My partner is a sound engineer and has his own tribe of musicians and production folks that he’s close to, and I’ve been slowly been getting to know some of the people in his community… and it seems like they’re a very accepting, loving bunch of people that I’m finding myself very happy to have in my life.

The only thing that I’m finding that I’ve been lacking as I’ve been getting to know this tribe is building relationships with other women… this tribe, while certainly not gender exclusionary, is pretty heavily male. That doesn’t really bother me… but I do feel like sometimes it pulls me out of balance.

Rachelle January 12, 2013 at 3:26 pm

You’re the third person I’ve talked to this week who has found community among musicians. :-) Sounds like a good place to be.

One community doesn’t have to (and can’t) be everything to us. I think that’s one of the great fallacies we sometimes hold on to. It might be perfectly functional for you to have this most-male community be your main “group” with some womanly one-one-on companionship on the side. It doesn’t all need to be rolled in to one. I know you’ll be able to create balance!

Karen C January 15, 2013 at 12:02 am

Losing that sense of community was definitely the hardest part when I decided I could no longer stay in the church. At the same time, part of the reason I felt I had to leave was because of how toxic that community had grown.
I was realizing while I watched the video that finding a new tribe where I belonged no matter what I believed was a critical spot on the journey to finding a spiritual practice that fits who I am. Part of that community was definitely becoming a member of Flock where questions are encouraged and orthodox belief or practice is not required, part of it was becoming involved in a community theatre group that allowed and valued the expression of my gifts, and part of it was the community of shared experience with a group of women I met on a retreat. In some way I hadn’t realized until today, knowing I was part of those tribes gave me the courage to start finding my own spiritual path without worrying if I would still belong.
Yup, I’d say finding your tribe is pretty important. I’d also say that you might find your tribe in unexpected places that don’t look anything like a traditional church, but, if all of life is part of our spiritual journey, might just look a lot like what I suspect a church was supposed to be.

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